Anyone who’s spent even a little bit of time around the internet in recent years knows that feminists and social justice warriors will take any opportunity to cry discrimination, but it’s time we had a dispassionate discussion and examined the empirical realities of fairness and equality in gender. If we look at the facts, it’s clear that, despite what some would have you think, it’s not so-called sexism but instead biological gender differences that keep women from succeeding in my meticulously engineered, six-story mega-labyrinth.
Every year, I abduct hundreds of people from their homes and drive them on a stolen school bus to a secret location in rural Montana, where lies the treacherous, windowless labyrinth I spent 20 long years designing and building to exacting specifications. When I let the people loose in my labyrinth, I give each person the same instructions: They are to complete the maze and defeat the furious, starving bull trapped at the center of its topmost level. And every year, about 75 percent of those who complete the task and emerge alive are men.
Before you feminazis start crying about how oppressive my labyrinth is, let’s remove emotions from the discussion and think rationally for a second. There are several evolved differences between women’s and men’s brains that explain the gender representation disparity in the Hall Of Exalted Heroes, where I commemorate the people who have survived my hellish complex. It is well-documented that women are genetically predisposed to focus on feelings and think through an empathetic lens, whereas men are hardwired to focus more on ideas and think systematically, innately equipping them to perform better when encountering the endless onslaught of mental and physical rigors posed by my fearsome death labyrinth.
Drones
that are used to survey the territory around gold mines are being
destroyed by native wedge-tailed eagles. Rick Steven, a mine surveyor in
the region, said that he had lost nine
of his Trimble UX5 drones to eagles, which he labeled “the natural
enemy” of drones. After the attacks began, Steven camouflaged his drones
as baby eagles. However, the ruse only worked temporarily as 50 flights
later the eagles realized the disguised drones were not what they
seemed. Each of these drones costs an impressive $20,000, meaning that
gold mining companies are losing money fast thanks to the eagles’
intervention. One of these companies, Gold Fields, has already lost over $100,000.
I never made a post about draft horses. :T They are the gentle giants of the horse world, sometimes growing as large as 20 hands and over 2000 lbs. The tallest horse in the world is an American-type Belgian horse named Big Jake (I think???).
A very big (but good) boy!
Despite their size, draft horses are known for their quiet, even temperaments, which make them good work horses. They were originally bred to pull wagons and plows, and they still do that. The most famous draft horses are probably the Budweiser Clydesdales, i.e. the horses in those Superbowl commercials that make us cry every goddamn year.
Draft horses can be ridden, and they are often crossed with lighter breeds, such as Thoroughbreds and Quarter Horses, to create tall, sturdy-boned, quiet sport horses.
Such horses were a common sight during foxhunts, as “hotter” breeds, like Arabians and Thoroughbreds, tend to lose their minds a bit in the chaos of the hunt. Draft horses can also be crossed with Mammoth Jack donkeys to create draft mules, which are also used to pull plows for the Amish.
Mammoth Jack donkey:
Draft Mule:
There are a lot of draft breeds, some more common than others. Many of the common ones are easy to tell apart from the others, but they’re all large-boned and tall, except for the draft ponies, such as Halflingers and Norwegian Fjord horses.
The Belgian
There are two Belgian horses, one that’s popular in Europe and another that’s very common in the US.
This is the European-type “Brabant” Belgian, which tends to be very thick boned and roan in color.
This is the American-type Belgian, which is lighter-boned and always sorrel/palomino in color:
Here is a Brabant Belgian mare pulling some shit:
A lot of draft horses really do enjoy pulling stuff, as much as a horse CAN enjoy doing anything that’s not eating grass and farting. Horse pulls are a common sight in Middle America, often done using Belgian horses. Here’s one of a team pulling 9200 lbs. They pull for a very short period of time, often only a few seconds.
Next up is the Percheron, which has a similar body type to the Belgians but are always black or dapple. They can be slightly more spirited than Belgian horses, with some demonstrating high stepping action.
They are not to be confused with Friesians, who have much more “feathered” legs and feet (long hair around the lower legs) and are lighter-boned. Friesians also don’t come in dapple colors, like the horse at the top of this post.
Clydesdales
Clydesdales are recognizable because they are a) always bay colored and b) almost always have four white socks and a blaze on their faces. They also have much more feathering on their legs than Percherons or Belgians. Clydesdales are more common in parades and the like because they tend to be slightly lighter than Percheron and Belgians, and because of this, they’re more agile and “showy”. You probably would not want to plow with a Clydesdale. You could, but their feathering means their feet get dirty much easier than a Belgians might.
Shire Horse
Shires come in a variety of colors, usually black or bay, and they are probably the most “feathered” horses of the popular breeds. They’ve got lots of fur on their feet.
Gypsy Vanner Horses
Gypsy Vanner horses got their start pulling Roma wagons, but now they’re mostly used in fantasy photoshoots, and you can see why. They are beautiful horses, definitely not the type you’d want toiling in the muck. They are almost always paint colored, which distinguishes them from Shire horses.
These are the main, most popular and commonly seen full-sized draft breeds, at least in the US. However, there are also draft ponies, the most popular of which is the Halflinger, which resembles a shrunken Belgian horse. They are ALWAYS sorrel/palomino colored, but their frame can vary. Some Halflingers are lighter-boned and more suitable for riding. Others are thicker-boned and better for pulling.
The other unmistakable draft pony is the Norwegian Fjord, easily recognized by the black stripe in the center of its mane, like a reverse ice cream sandwich.
This can lead to some creative hair cuts
So there you go. That’s a somewhat comprehensive review of draft horse breeds. Here is a size comparison for funsies, with the average riding horse in the middle.
