I firmly believe that not only should we raise the minimum wage, but we should also create a maximum wage. There is no reason in which an orthopedic surgeon, which is the highest paying doctor will make an average of $464,500 a year, while the top 10 CEOs earn well over $33 BILLION a year. If we even so much as cap their earning potential at $1 billion, which is more money than anyone should really need to live a happy fulfilling lifestyle, then it would force them to put that money toward the company or be punished. This means giving their employees better health insurance, giving them more vacations, better wages, paying for their college or their children’s education, creating more jobs, and improving the functionality of their companies. Perhaps even force them to invest in the communities they are serving.
For those of you who are still skeptical… let me put it this way… the highest earning CEO “earned” $156,077,912 in 2014.
Let’s boil this down. There’s about 52 weeks in a year. Let’s say that he works 40 hours a week. So a total of 2,080 hours a year. That’s $75,037 an hour. The median HOUSEHOLD income in the US is $50,502 per year. He’s earning 1.5 times the amount per hour than the average household makes in a year. That disparity is absurd.
To put that even further into perspective, the average NEUROLOGIST earns $219,000 a year according to a 2014 statistic. Every single one of the CEOs on the 100 highest paid CEOs earn at least 93 TIMES the amount that a NEUROLOGIST makes.
Something needs to change. People shouldn’t be starving for the sake of someone else’s greed.
(Marquee graphic generated with RedKid.net’s sign generator)
Neural networks are a kind of machine learning program modeled very loosely after the human brain. By looking at a dataset and tuning the connections between their own virtual neurons, neural networks can learn to imitate the original dataset. Powerful neural networks can do impressive things, like translate languages, recognize faces, and even describe scenes in words.
The neural networks I use, however, have the approximate processing power of an earthworm.
Granted, it’s an earthworm that has put its entire tiny brain to the sole task of learning the dataset: I’ve taught neural networks to invent cookbook recipes, name cats and guinea pigs, and even write Harry Potter fan fiction, all with some degree of success.
Opening: Aep 00, 1969 Closing: Ser 30, 1917 Closing: May 11, 1922 Performance Count: 15
Santen Sos Play
Opening: Nov 19, 1906 Closing: Cov 19, 1907 Closing: May 29, 1923 Closing: Fec 24, 1929 Closing: Jat 19, 1927 Closing: May 1935 Performance Count: 14
Apparently, the plays produced by the neural network in its early stages were so bad that multiple teams of time travelers (or perhaps one very, very determined traveler) had to travel back in time to close them not only decades before they opened, but also retroactively in multiple alternate timelines.
One play called “The Gore” was so powerful that even closing the play 17 times over at least three timelines still resulted in 24 performances.
The Gore Play, Comedy
Opening: May 19, 1919 Closing: Jay 19, 1920 Closing: May 19, 1922 Closing: May 19, 1924 Closing: May 19, 1932 Closing: May 19, 1919 Closing: Nov 19, 1922 Closing: May 19, 1919 Closing: Nov 19, 1927 Closing: May 19, 1925 Closing: May 19, 1927 Closing: May 19, 1922 Closing: May 19, 1917 Closing: May 19, 1932 Closing: May 19, 1925 Closing: May 19, 1925 Closing: May 19, 1921 Performance Count: 24
As the neural network progressed in its learning, the situation got less dire, but causality remained highly optional. The plays now only close once, but remain still really weird, and probably quite bad.
The Girls of Hurk Play, Comedy Opening: Mar 17, 1991 Closing: May 05, 1980 Performance Count: 151
Meatlick Musical, Comedy Opening: Mar 28, 1928 Closing: Nov 02, 1929 Performance Count: 133
The Wither Bean Musical, Comedy Opening: Sep 11, 1920 Closing: Jan 1936 Performance Count: 25
Mep and the . Musical, Revue Opening: Jan 04, 1906 Closing: Apr 25, 1901 Performance Count: 58
Worms and Ram Play Opening: Nov 24, 1918 Closing: Feb 1919 Performance Count: 12
Is a Boot Play, Melodrama Opening: Feb 03, 1900 Closing: Feb 1900 Performance Count: 22
Hot Stans Play Opening: Feb 17, 1943 Closing: Mar 20, 1945 Performance Count: 1
The Burking Ding of 190 Bour Dadige Play, Comedy Opening: Sep 24, 1929 Closing: Jan 1938 Performance Count: 55
The neural network also seemed, for mysterious reasons, to zero in on butt-related plays.
Butt Play, Comedy Opening: Jun 09, 1899 Closing: Nov 1906 Performance Count: 1
Bum Play, Play with music Opening: Feb 12, 1930 Closing: Mar 1922 Performance Count: 1
Fart Play Opening: Oct 13, 1923 Closing: Apr 03, 1927 Performance Count: 23
Bun Life Play Opening: Mar 06, 1995 Closing: Apr 22, 1999 Performance Count: 175
The Old Farting Play, Melodrama Opening: May 24, 1927 Closing: Mar 01, 1926 Performance Count: 48
And, in addition to a continuing disregard for causality, there emerged a last category of plays and musicals that seemed strangely significant.
The Siri Play Opening: Nov 14, 1932 Closing: Sep 1914 Performance Count: 12
Bot Five Play, Comedy Opening: Oct 25, 1958 Closing: Sep 02, 1959 Performance Count: 256
The Romance of the Bot Play Opening: May 14, 1923 Closing: Jun 1924 Performance Count: 109
Perhaps “bot” is simply a highly-probable English word. Perhaps “butt” is, too. Or perhaps the neural network has examined the total creative output of 100+ years of Broadway, and is letting us know what it likes best.
