First described in 2012, the Thin Thin’s stream toad [Ansonia thinthinae] is a gangly little forest dweller native to Northern Myanmar and closely related to other Ansonia toads in the region. This specimen was found in the Dawei District of Myanmar and photographed by Jens V. Vindum.
Disrespect also can take the form of idealizing you and putting you on a pedestal as a perfect woman or goddess, perhaps treating you like a piece of fine china. The man who worships you in this way is not seeing you; he is seeing his fantasy, and when you fail to live up to that image he may turn nasty. So there may not be much difference between the man who talks down to you and the one who elevates you; both are displaying a failure to respect you as a real human being and bode ill.
— Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via gaygothur)
An abusive man is not unable to resolve conflicts nonabusively; he is unwilling to do so. The skill deficits abusers have been the subject of a number of research studies, and the result lead to the following conclusion: Abusers have normal abilities in conflict resolution, communication and assertiveness when they choose to use them. They typically get through tense situations at work without threatening anyone; they manage their stress without exploding when they spend Thanksgiving with their parents; they share openly with their siblings regarding their sadness over a grandparent’s death. But they don’t want to handle these kinds of issues nonabusively when it involves their partner. You can equip an abuser with the most innovative, new age skills for expressing his deep emotions, listening actively, and using win-win bargaining, and then he will go home and continue abusing.
— Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via gaygothur)
One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you—as will happen to any abused woman from time to time—he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy.
— Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via gaygothur)
