edward really was like a 120 year old virgin who was saving himself for marriage…. stephenie meyer… the mormon jumped out
(via krawps)
I’m the monkey the baby is god
(via honted)
HHHSvndhBdhsuHuegaBBNSNHYYGSVWHSyyYYEYSGNNhhhsbagGHDHWDJAHXJJSLDJSHDJAHDKADHGSAKHDKAHDJADHAHSJQHDJHSNSNNNDNSBDHGVURRRRHRNDGSGDH
(via notpietromaximoff)
guillermo del toro’s little brother
every time i see this post i forget the punchline. and it’s always so fucking good
(via thehotgirlproject)
My employer reading my work experience off my resume
god telling me why she chose to welcome me into heaven
(via feministdeathparty)
God i wish someone would sell me a haunted house. Ghosts aren’t real and I’d love to get a really nice house for like half the price that it should be.
and if they are real you can fuck them.
This guy gets it!
(via hotvampireadjacent)
Found this sad/cryptic gem at a Salvation Army in Fort Wayne, IN.
(via shiftythrifting)
I send this picture to my friends about once a week so they won’t be sad when i die
This snail has to cancel all of its plans tonight. It just took a @buzzfeed quiz and found out that its spirit animal is in fact not a snail as it was expecting. Instead, it discovered that it is really a human at heart. Everything it thought it knew about itself must be wrong - this snail has got to reevaluate its entire life now. #snail #snailfriends #nature #garden #flowers #whpperspective #🐌 #❤️ #🌸 #✨ #🔮
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnw2IjblWi5/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=18572wh9nrtml
nothing sexier than a girl whos just a little out of it. asked the girl serving me at mcdonald’s 2day where the straws are and she said “straws? why would we have hay here” really sexy of her
(via c3rvida3)
me: please fall asleep I have to wake up early
my body: imm s o fkuchin s Orr;y sorry I didnt;; know I’m trasah I’m hte fuckgng s;;;o sso//rry,,,,,
me: become unconscious please
(via wormspeddler)