some type of adult girl

birdbian:

i am a bright and colourful piñata and god is a 13 year old birthday boy whose parents have just announced their divorce.

The only favor past me does for future me is taking hard candies from restaurants and reception desks and leaving them in my jacket pockets

lezzyharpy:

panda1345:

lezzyharpy:

panda1345:

lezzyharpy:

con artists that forge art and wine to sell to rich snobs for millions of dollars: cool, good

con artists that target marginalized groups and harass and make legal threats against people calling them on it: guillotine

…. art theft is art theft. Punish all of them the same or not at all.

man shut the fuck up

So crime is okay in some circumstances?

yes

(via krawps)

thatsbelievable:

(via tamascotchi-deactivated20190101)

jeezypetes:

I hate living with my parents sm we’re out here eating lasagna with thinly sliced butternut squash instead of noodles and watching jeopardy and as always we try to guess the final jeopardy just from the category which tonight was “modern day innovators” and i said carly rae jepsen and they were like….. who is that

Also bc if i want to make myself an omelette in the middle of the night (which i do) i have to face my fathers disappointment (because he stays up all night watching tv on the couch which is right next to the kitchen)

cephalotodd:

can u imagine being admitted to the hospital in house cos ur half-dead from the worlds most obscure disease and youre lying in bed dying and you cant even do that in peace cos every five minutes house’s little club comes back in to do another round of random tests while gossiping about their deep psychological issues and if thats not painful enough one of them is australian and you have to listen to that. and just when u think u can finally slip away gracefully some old dude comes in and switches off your life support and yells at you for not telling him you tripped on a loose floorboard and broke a nail when you were seven like just let me go bro. im done

(via yeeowch)

aarontveitsgf:

me to the three people who interact with my posts

(via alexoun-blog1)

sailorbrazil:

wish my tongue was long enough to clean my glasses

(via sailorbrazil)

doctorbeth:

I frequently hear from my patients’ people “if there was a fire, I would save him/her/them”.  Sometimes there is a fire, and I treat the burns afterwards.  In this case, there wasn’t a fire, there was a flood.

Mutsy, Snuffles, and Big Mutsy were in a box under the bed when Hurricane Harvey struck.  Their person wrote:

My son’s stuffed animals were recently victims of flooding from Harvey.  I had them under a bed in a storage container, but Harvey deposited 4 ft of water in my home and they didn’t stay dry.  I dried them out for 3 days in the sun and also washed them in the washer twice on the “sanitize” cycle that lasted one hour and 45 minutes.  I added bleach to both cycles as well as detergent.  I then laid them to dry in the sun for a few more days.  

Confession:  my son is now 28 years old.  We all have very fond memories of Mutsy, Snuffles, and Big Mutsy.  I have thought about cutting them open and taking their stuffing out, and then re-stuffing them.  However, the fact that I have been overwhelmed by dealing with recovering from a flooded home, these poor animals remain damaged.

Now as I have written in the past, washing stuffed animals in a washer is well… hazardous.  In fact, what I wrote was “You can hug them and squeeze them and kiss them and cry on them, but please don’t put your stuffed animals in the washing machine!“

But in this case, washing and bleaching protected them long enough for them to come to the hospital for a proper spa to really clean them and make sure they were dry inside and out before restuffing them.  Here are the trio’s diagnosis photos:

It was very important to keep all the hug marks on the animals, but they needed to be safe for future hugs. The plan was for them to come in for a proper spa, with their stuffing replaced (to ensure nothing was left from Harvey).  

Here are the spa photos:

Now when it came to restuffing, the trio’s family wanted them to stay well hugged (not too fat) but their stuffing had gotten hard from their dunking, and the family wanted them soft and floppy again.  Here they are all better:

Their family approved and they got ready to fly home to TX:

Their family wrote:

The animals arrived safe and so healthy!  Thank you!!!