I don’t think i can explain how insane and irrational the dark tower series makes me i was literally just thinking about what a slog most of the seventh book is while listening to the audiobook for the fourth time and my friends were like oh check out this tweet about the upcoming mike flanagan amazon series ughhh he’s so lame he’s going to make it saccharine and shitty and i was like i am going to kill you guys with hammers
I haven’t heard anything from macklemore since he got that big pear necklace i hope he’s ok
It’s pride month… time to slay the dragons dick
“this post is about monster sex” “this post is about bottom surgery” “this post is about a fictional character” This is a post about my favourite Macklemore tweet.
(via averyterrible)
Imagine being born with a mouthful of teeth and a huge boner and then you turn into a big racist spider and eat your mom and then your other mom tries to kill you and everyone else in the hospital. Very stressful for a child
omg imagine being born and you are on a spaceship and everyone aboard is sooo so mad at you just because you burst out of some guy’s chest to be born. like um sorry i’ve not been alive before i didn’t even know that’s not allowed please be nice to me um the spaceship floor is cold is no one going to knit me some little booties i am calling child protective services
(via baradragon)
we’ve finally figured out time travel! which of these times do you go to?
Pleistocene (last ice age, most of human evolution)
Neogene (when grasslands expanded and mammals came into their own)
Paleogene (when most modern groups evolved, just a time of weird early stuff)
Cretaceous (the golden age of dinosaurs, including protobirds)
Jurassic (so many giant dinosaurs, weird pterosaurs, and marine reptiles)
Triassic (the weirdest time of life on land ever; the golden age of reptiles)
Permian (the second weirdest time of life on land; golden age of stem-mammals)
Carboniferous (scale tree forests, amphibian party, and so many bugs)
Devonian (here come the fishies! here they come! oh gd they’re on land)
Silurian (first land animals, lots of little plants and giant fungi)
See Resultsyou have everything you need to survive and you will get through the trip and come home safely
for the purposes of “polls can only have ten things”, your options are limited to land ecosystems
(via confetti-critter)
yes I DO live under a rock and her name is the Moon and she is always smiling but she teaches me nothing
(via unadulteratedsuitphantom)
