Can’t stop thinking about the dream i had the other night where i was rewatching the first season of bobs burgers and realized that there was originally a fourth, eldest Belcher child named christine who was 16 and blonde. But they cut her out of the show after the first season with no narrative explanation
yo show up at my wake and walk upstairs to the bedroom to say goodbye but instead of a casket you find out my body’s in one of these
one time my childhood friend was playing outside in this same turtle sandbox and she got tired so she laid down in the sand and covered it and fell asleep and her mom couldn’t find her and they put out an amber alert and the cops came and questioned my 10 year old ass because I was “the last person to see her alive”
I can’t believe i lay in the dark for almost an hour animatedly lecturing the wall about christopher columbus’s journals before i realized i forgog to take my evening medication
The Cape Barren or Pig Goose is one of the rarest geese in the world, found mostly in small islands off the coast of Australia. Their ability to drink salt or brackish water allows for large flocks to remain on the islands all year round. They have adapted to feeding on agricultural land, allowing for a reverse in the decline in numbers observed over the past century.
@everyone staring at me as i make a humongous racket rattling down the uneven sidewalk on my ancient razor scooter: sorry for being so thrifty and eco friendly. And fast. And having a fat wet pussy
Rip the front axel fell out of my scooter today and I couldn’t find it… my pussy is ok though
My new shrink told me that instead of beating myself up over my mean, judgemental thoughts, I should try praising myself for choosing to be kind. I’m thinking about it
It’s important to stay in touch with your hometown friends so you can keep them up to date on local happenings like the Kangaroo With Human Baby kidnapping situation
