bugthebard:

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neon house centipedes in your house at night (but it’s okay because they eat neon cockroaches)

(via mantischildren)

I am so desperate for it to be warm and spring i am losing my whole entire mind. To want something so badly and be completely, inarguably unable to do anything about it

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jeezypetes:

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Dream blunt rotation

We always pass it to the chatterer last bc he ALWAYS promises not to chomp up the blunt w his scary teeth and guess what he ALWAYS does

Did anyone elses tumblr app start playing upbeat jazz as they scrolled today. That was so scary

I can’t believe i lived my life thinking the people on the other side of the creek were my family’s natural enemies bc every time we lost power their lights were still on. Perhaps every time they lose power they look over and see us on the other side of the creek with our lights on. We should have joined forces long ago and stormed the pepco headquarters together

gruesomegf:

i feel a profound sadness within me…… sex horror sex bat sex horror sex vampire sex bat horror vampire sex

(via stlamb)

bowserwife:

I’m the little moth that they hire to fly out of peoples’ empty wallets. May not seem glamorous to some but it’s an honest living.

(via maryfagdalene)

saintflint:

i think more of you need to embrace the fact that a character can be a favorite BECAUSE they are a freakish loathsome hateful black-hearted despicable creature, NOT in spite of it

(via natalieironside)

It is in your best interest to find a way to take a day off of work to stay home and clean your room and do laundry and figure out how to get rid of the algae in your fish tank and spiders in your lizard tank and change your sheets so you’re not sleeping in pringles crumbs anymore. Sorry this started as a haha relatable jenny holzer joke and then got specific i hope you have different less disgusting problems than me

isawken:

me in the group chat: hey. bad news guys

gc: oh no. you did it again didn’t you

me: yeah. i got lost in the beauty of a gif of a dragon from the early 2000s again. sorry

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(via charlottan)

chimpanzeedotcom:

> they don’t know the alternative future in the Simpsons where Bart marries trans Milhouse

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(via gentlertouch)

pattmatters0n:

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TIL the laserdisc icon for when it was time to flip the disc is adorable

(via oh-hools)